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Sunday, November 10, 2013

MEMO TO BIG COAL

Are there sh*t kicking Montanans and Texans fuming in their boots and Stetsons about how they can't "get their coal out of the ground and into China" if they don't get rid of "all those g*d d*mn eco-terrorists" in Whatcom County? You Betcha!  But I wanted to thank them anyway for their efforts and to extend an invitation to come visit our beautiful city, Bellingham, WA.

DEAR BIG COAL:

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ALL YOUR MONEY AND INFLUENCE TO WHATCOM COUNTY. IN THE ELEVEN YEARS I HAVE BEEN HERE, I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE DEMOCRATS SO UNITED IN AN OFF YEAR ELECTION OR PERHAPS EVER. THE DEMOCRATS WILL RETAIN/GAIN FOUR COUNTY COUNCIL SEATS, AT LEAST ONE PORT SEAT, AND HAVE GAINED A GENERAL UNIFYING FEELING ALL AROUND.

THE MONEY FROM YOUR GLOBAL WARMING OPPONENTS HAS INFUSED OUR LEADERSHIP, UNITED THE LEFT, STRENGTHENED OUR RESOLVE, AND MADE US BETTER ACTIVISTS.  AND LABOR *IS STILL OUR FRIEND*. IT IS PROBABLE THAT IN THE END YOU WILL WIN. BUT  HAPPY DANCING PROGRESSIVE MEN AND WOMEN ARE TWIRLING ABOUT THE STREETS OF BELLINGHAM RIGHT NOW; REVELING IN VICTORY AND AS DRUNK WITH POWER AS WE EVER HAVE BEEN.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FLY IN FROM MONTANA OR TEXAS OR NEW YORK CITY AND VISIT OUR BEAUTIFUL CITY.  JOIN US AT ONE OF OUR WONDERFUL, LOCALLY SUPPLIED, ORGANIC EATERIES. I HEARTILY RECOMMEND THE HONEY MEAD WINE!

WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST,

BELLINGHAM POLITICS AND ECONOMICS (and probably some of)
THE PROGRESSIVE LEFT IN BELLINGHAM AND WHATCOM COUNTY, WA